


Soul Fire

by TheOldMan



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Intrigue, Suspense, Triggers, mature themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6472624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOldMan/pseuds/TheOldMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world of proud clans, co-operative government, loving families, lives a strong belief that souls are born from the fires of Antigyn.  When they breathe the breath of life it is believed that every soul's purpose is to add their essence to the universe.  Most will add theirs to benefit all and a few will add their fires to create fire storms that will destroy.</p>
<p>Petral has survived it's own firestorms and that of other worlds where they fought beside those in need.  And they, the Petralans, thought that they had finally gotten to a point where their wildfires, while existing, were no longer a threat. Unfortunately, a seasoned diplomat returns home to honor a soul whose fire has been prematurely extinguished.  While not unusual, this time it's personal and what is to follow will stun them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Unnatural death is a mystery...”  from "Antigyn's Fire"

**Author's Note:**

> From the summary to the last page and final word of the final chapter, this is my own creation and protected in its entirety by my own copyright.
> 
> It has been a long time in coming. Being the protective perfectionist I am I had to decide whether I was going to finally allow my 'baby' to come out and be read by those interested or was I going to hold on to it, tinker endlessly with it, and let it die of old age on a hard drive. I chose the former. So here it is, chapter by chapter.
> 
> I suggest getting a cup of coffee or tea or whatever you wish to drink when reading. The chapters for the most part long as represented by chapter 1 which in Word 2003 is 18pgs long. So...
> 
> PLEASE: There is graphic violence in this story in various places. It was so graphic that one of my beta readers had to stop because it was triggering nightmares. So if there is any chance you are trigger sensitive, DO NOT READ THIS SERIES.
> 
> Before I let you go to read I want to thank my beta readers, Lisa, Kit, and Laurie. In the end I know it's my decision to change this or that or correct this or that but I want you to know how much I appreciated your input and pointing out my inconsistencies. :)
> 
> To my friends who have read Soul Fire in it's various incarnations and changes and then encouraged me to continue and eventually finish... well it's continued and almost finished. By the time I get to the final chapter that is posted here, it should be finally finished. *laughs*
> 
> I want to thank my love, Afrieal, for all her love and commitment to helping me work on this. I appreciate you honey and thank the gods and goddesses that I get to look into those eyes every day and feel your love wrap itself around my heart.
> 
> To my youngest sister... the main character is named after you with a slight change.
> 
> And finally to my readers. Thank you for taking time to read this story. I hope you enjoy it and that it draws you in and refuses to let you go.

His last words were "take me home”. At least that is what the cruiser captain reported Tkel had said. He had been returning from a diplomatic mission on Xeranon when he suddenly slipped into a coma. Now he was home and she was on her way to bury him. She hated it.

Lady Adai Lanara, Tkel's eldest daughter and Petralan career diplomat to the Interstellar Coalition on Terra XVI, looked out the shuttle window as it sped towards Emerald Isle City. Off in the distance she could see the smoke rising from Antigyn's Valley, the place of beginnings and her father's final journey. She took her right hand and wiped the tear trickling down her cheek as the left reached into her travel pouch and took out a thin, adult hand span length, burnt on the fan end, reed. Putting it to her lips, she blew on it gently. He use to tell the story on my birthday, she thought, about how proud he was the day I blew out Antigyn's flame. 

"And now I will never hear him tell the story ever again." Adai whispered.

"Adai, did you say something?"

Adai slowly rotated the chair back to face the inside of the shuttle cabin. "I'm sorry, Val. I didn't mean to disturb you." She wiped her eyes again then tried to make them focus on the face of the woman who had spoken to her. "I was just lost in a memory and thinking about the funeral to come."

The woman looking at her so intently was Valteri Caltung, her lover for the last seven years and Coalition personal security guard from the mission on Terra XVI. 

"What is that reed in your hand?" Val asked.

Adai's somber face brightened for a moment. "It's the reed that the fire witness held to my lips when I was a baby. I've told you about that ritual haven't I?"

Val nodded. "Yes, but I've never seen the reed." 

Adai leaned over and offered it to Valteri.

"So, this is it." Val turned and twisted it around as she inspected it. "Who would think that such an ordinary looking reed would hold such important significance?"

Adai nodded. "My father gave it to me just before I boarded the shuttle for my first diplomatic mission. He said having it would remind me about how much he and mom loved me and how proud they were of me."

"Your people are very blessed to have such rituals for their children. It gives them important memories to hold onto as they get older. Encobiats don't have such things." Adai noticed Val's silver grey eyes getting a distant look to them as she continued. "What rituals we do have are pompous and boring. Something every child tries to avoid as often as possible." 

Adai reached over and took Val's hand sympathetically.

"It's okay. I'm learning not to regret the things others had but I didn't." Val smiled appreciatively. "I hate to abruptly change the subject but did your mother mention what your father died from?"

Adai's face darkened again and her blue grey eyes narrowed. She wrapped her long arms tightly around her body. "Some sort of lethal mutation of an allel that was genetically engineered as to specifically shut down his immune system and quickly mutate a spliced in quick acting virus. In other words it was targeted just for Dad and just as fatal as a point blank beam shot to the head. A miss was not possible neither was there time to concoct a cure. Mom said that he had been on a mission to Xeranon and a close friend of his at the Clan Council said that Dad had been in contact with counter-intelligence agent. They - the Petralan government - believed that same person assassinated him. Apparently, it was someone he knew and trusted because he didn't ask for additional assistance." She sighed bitterly. "Unfortunately, according to Mom, as far as they can tell the perpetrator left the day after he met with my father and got away.

The shuttle pilot's voice broke into the conversation announcing their arrival at Emerald Isle's Starport and that they would be disembarking in three minutes.

Adai, put her other hand on top of Val's and lifted it to her lips, and kissed the inner palm softly. She then let her eyes express the rest of what was in her heart before it got lost in the midst of emotions and distractions that would occur within the next few days. 

Then she said, "Love, you know father died three days after the ship he was on arrived home. Moreover, that I didn't get the chance to say good-bye because I couldn't get a transport in time. If it'd not been for you being there for me I don't think I would have made it. Thank you... for everything."

Valteri, just nodded and hugged Adai as they stood to leave the shuttle and watched her prepare to face the outside world. Adai, stood 5'9", muscular, outwardly confident and in control. Nevertheless, in the privacy of the shuttle cabin, the easy smile had turned to a frown and the normally dancing eyes had filled again with grief. However, as Adai rearranged her long flowing diplomatic robes, she put back her best "ambassadorial" look and straightened her shoulders. 

A bump and the clank of the starport's passenger corridor against the shuttle's outer hull announced that they were secured at the gate. Opening the hatch Valteri made way for Adai to meet the entourage that was waiting at the docking bay.

Adai, appeared at the open hatchway in her formal black protocol robe with four silver braid cords draped over her left shoulder, front to back, announcing to all that she was in official mourning for a fellow diplomat. The thin white cord that hung around the back of neck to the front of the robe signified that she was in personal mourning for a loved one. She was met by her clan's elder, the ruling governmental clansman, and their various aides, all dressed in their clans colored robes, or status robes.

The governmental Grandclansman, dressed similarly to Adai except with gold cords, all, stepped forward and opened his arms to her. "Adai, I grieve with you, for your loss, for Petral's loss. Your father served with distinction and was a good friend and advisor to me."

Adai stepped forward and accepted his hug. The older man held her tightly. In the privacy of the moment, she thought she felt his shoulders shaking in her arms. When he released her, she could see the glisten in his eyes confirming what she had felt.

"Elder Dren, I grieve for your loss and Petral’s. Thank you for coming to greet me."

The Elder nodded as he wiped the tears away. Next to approach her was a bleary, red-eyed man, dressed in the Lanara clan robes of midnight blue with thin vertical lines of silver and gold, alternating. He too opened his arms to Adai.

"Adai...." His voice choked.

"Grandfather, I know." 

They held each other and mingled their tears on closely pressed cheeks. 

When Elder Ptantel, Adai's paternal grandfather, released her they turned and headed down the passageway preceded by Elder Dren. They were met by a military escort at the main atrium. The escort formed ranks around the diplomatic entourage and set a slow meter for the procession. As they proceeded down the black chained corridor, erected by the military escort and the Starport's personnel before the shuttle's arrival, all activity ceased except for the arrival of passengers from other incoming shuttles. Even as they came out of the hatchways the passengers would stop just short of the doors. The terminal sound system played the soft and mournful terapipe rendition of "Wounded Heart" as it set the atmosphere and matched the cadence of the cortege. During times of war such a corridor was permanently set up in Emerald City Isle's terminal to honor the war dead and their families. However, to have one set up during peacetime signified the death of an honored Petralan as the result of an enemy's treachery. To those who watched the procession walk down the chained corridor, which included immediate family of the deceased, it communicated the unspeakable pain of losing a loved one. Understanding voices murmured condolences and words of comfort as they passed by.

Dnel Lanara, Adai's brother, met them inside the main doors of the terminal and together they walked out to awaiting government provided hover-limo together. Holding the door open, closest to the curb, for Adai was a baby-faced battle lieutenant.

"Lady Adai,” he said, "At 1900 hours tomorrow, we will be awaiting your arrival at the mortuary for final rites at Antigyn.”

Adai looked to Elder Ptantel who nodded his approval that she should be the one to be approached about such things. She inclined her head towards the young man then said, "Thank you Lieutenant. We'll see you tomorrow."

With a sharp salute he replied as he relinquished the door to the Lanara clan elder’s out stretched hand and stepped two steps back, "You're welcome ma'am." 

As Adai was settling into the seat Ptantel leaned through the open door and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going back to the council chamber with the clansman. Tell your mother I'll be over tomorrow before the funeral."

She nodded and reached up to hug his neck tightly. "Peace go with you Grandfather." 

"And with you my grown little love." Then leaning his head further in the hover-limo, "Peace go with you, Dnel, Valteri."

Once the door was shut, Adai turned to her brother who was sitting beside her.

"Where's Mom? I thought she would be here."

Dnel took a swallow from the glass of ale he'd gotten from the limo replicator. "Well, she was going to. But she decided she couldn't bring herself to come to the Starport again."

Nodding her understanding, Adai lapsed into a meditative silence as the limo driver headed towards the Lanara Township just one hundred and fifty kilometers south of Emerald Isle City. The scenery passed quickly as the limo exited the city starport and flew along the old forestry route. Hovercraft vehicles had long replaced airborne shuttles. More fuel efficient, they could go places, at speeds, and park where shuttles could not. Though sometimes shuttles were provided by the government and private industry to travel to the surrounding clan estates. However, up in the mountains where some of the more ancient clans held court, shuttles were used exclusively as they could not be approached by hovercraft.

Finally, the hover-limo slowed as the township of B'ren Lanara came into view. At the end of the hover path and off to the side so as to permit more privacy was Adai's family hold. Normally the painted stonewalls matched the flowers growing in the grass around the building. But now they looked washed out as if all the tears the family had shed since Tkel’s death drained the vitality out of them.

As they slowed to turn and park a few meters from the edge of the hold property line Adai could see her mother making her way to the place where they would stop. When the limo halted, Valteri quickly got out and bowed low out of respect toward Donna Lanara, as she opened the limo door on Adai's side.

"Mom!” Adai said as she quickly moved to embrace her mother.

"Hello my dearest girl." Donna smiled as she nestled her face into her daughter's hair and hugged her tight. "You had an uneventful trip I hope?"

She returned her mother's hug just as tight and then after a moment pulled back but still held her mother's arms in her hands. "Yes, uneventful but difficult as you can imagine. It was hard knowing I was coming home to send Dad on his final journey."

Donna, a terran that Tkel had met at the Earth consulate on Vertan, nodded. "I can understand how that would be. It was hard just traveling to the Starport to meet his unconscious body." She then turned to hide her face. 

Adai slid her arm around her mother's shoulders as she took her other hand to wipe a tear away she saw on her mother’s cheek. She leaned in to kiss the moistened cheek. Whispering into Donna's ear she said, "It's going to be okay now Mom I'm home”.

"Of course it is....” She patted her daughter's hand on her shoulder. "But enough sadness for now,” Donna took out a kerchief and quickly dried her eyes. Her Texas drawl brightened. "Let's go inside and eat. I've fixed the lamb ribs brought in special by our pilot friend, Grandy. You remember him don't you? He flew shuttle between Zita and Perin when your father and I visited you on Terra XVI. Anyway, when he came to express his sympathies he brought me some lamb as comfort food. So knowing you loved it too I barbecued it along with some beans, Petralan potato salad, and made enough iced Berang tea to satisfy the hungriest Lanara clansman”.

Adai laughed. She remembered her childhood on Petral. It seemed the Lanara men were always stopping by to have some of her mother's down home terran cooking. "I remember how Dad's eyes always seemed to beam with pride as you would serve the beans and cornbread or whatever you cooked. He loved your cooking and loved to show off his bride from earth."

Donna's face reddened. "I know but come on, let's see if I've retained my touch."

Adai just shook her head. "Mom, it's not been that long since the last time I was home so I'm sure dinner will be just fine." Taking her mom by the arm, she walked with her into the house. Val and Dnel followed close behind. 

Donna and Adai's brother went into the kitchen as Adai and Val left to stow their gear and change clothes. The moment they walked into her old room, Adai immediately kicked off her boots. Some habits never change she thought. Then, almost painfully, she took off her protocol robes. Sitting on the queen-size mahogany-like canopy bed in her underclothes, she set her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her hands. Val quickly changed and sat beside her lover, rubbing her back and neck. The silence between them spoke more than any words that could have expressed. An old Earth adage that Adai was fond of said that if two people are comfortable with each other's silences then they were good friends indeed. Well they were certainly that Adai thought. Physically and emotionally exhausted Adai allowed the memories to envelop her. 

There had been an almost immediate friendship between the two women. She had been assigned aboard the Coalition ship Tikkalay as the Petralan liaison. Val was assigned "special duty" as ambassadorial personal bodyguard because of her race's ability to "inner speak" with other species. Which considering the risks a diplomat can face it was a perfect way to maintain a high level of security. At first, Val had said that she was uncertain as to whether or not she wanted the duty of guarding a snobbish diplomat but as they began to talk, she couldn't help but like the new Petralan liaison.  
.  
Eventually Adai met and married a handsome young ship engineer from Topitau, a Coalition officer, who opted to resign her commission shortly after the wedding so she could remain with her spouse on her many TDY assignments. Shortly thereafter, Sampta - her life partner, Val, and Adai, were transferred to the Petralan mission on Transolk V. Four years later Sampta died in a terrorist attack on the city of Kremptim where she was attending an engineering seminar. After returning from Sam’s funeral Adai asked Val to move in with her at the big ambassador's compound provided by the Transolk planetary government. She couldn't bear living alone and she figured having her best friend close by would help ease her into widowhood. During the next four years, their friendship would flourish and change into a partnership between lovers.

Just as they were about to celebrate their fourth year as lovers the Petralan government recalled Adai for a two year home leave as she'd been off planet for many years by then. It was to be a painful separation but they felt that it was important to pursue their individual careers. After Adai, left for Petral, Val was reassigned to Terra XVI as the Encobiat liaison to the Petralan mission. When Adai’s leave was over, she returned to T-XVI (which is its diplomatic slang name). She knew Val was still there as they’d corresponded during her absence and Adai was anxious to return, hoping that they could pick up from where they’d left off. However, when Adai had arrived at the spaceport there was no one to meet her. Thinking that perhaps Val had found someone else, Adai carried on but her heart was heavy and she grieved. It was at a late evening embassy function a few weeks later when she felt a familiar presence in her mind. Without hesitation or thought she mentally called Val's name. When she looked up there Val was at her side where she "belonged". Since that reunion, they'd been together for three years. 

Now as before, sitting beside her, Val was again offering that same safe, loving warm solace that had helped to ease her pain. What seemed like only a few moments was actually longer than they had intended. Hearing the sound of her brother Dnel shouting down the hall for them to come eat, the fog of memories lifted from Adai's mind. She slowly raised her head and in a voice thick with emotion, Adai asked Val to tell her brother that she would join them in a moment. Valteri nodded and as she got up to leave, she gently kissed Adai. As the door closed, Adai was already pulling on her navy blue jeans and sweatshirt.

Adai padded out to the kitchen in her stocking feet expecting to find them at the kitchen table but instead they were at the picnic table out on the back veranda. She stepped toward the door leading outside when suddenly she froze in place, foot mid-step. For a moment, she was briefly teleported back to a time when her mother would tell her to put her shoes on before going outside. Shaking her head and bringing herself back to the present, she decided that she didn't care. She was an adult, at home, and that meant no shoes! When Adai followed through on her step and walked through the doorway she saw her mother's eyes drop to her feet and then come back up to her eyes shooting a look of "I raised you better than that!” Donna's daughter just smiled pleasantly, planted a kiss on her mom’s cheek, and whispered, "I dare you to make me!" Donna laughed and pinched Adai's behind as she scooted to the picnic table. Adai squawked as she took her place at the table. It was then she noticed that her brother was standing by their mom, hovering over the food like a ravenous vulture waiting on its prey to die.

He breathed deeply and wistfully said, “Oh...! I miss your cookin'. My wife Miselind only feeds me her clan's delicacies."

Donna nodded knowingly. Miselind, Dnel's wife, was from the Zheratot clan. It was a highly advanced but culturally closed clan where serving foods like a Texas barbecue, even a simile of such, would have been summarily dismissed as a paltry excuse to go "scumming" (a take off of the terran euphemism of "slumming"). "Would you like me to send her my recipes just in case she wanted to cook you something special?"

Dnel leaned over and gave his mom a peck on the cheek before settling down beside Val at the large picnic table. "No thanks Mom. Missy has trouble accepting that kind of help especially if I give it to her."

Adai, who was sitting across from him, good-naturedly nudged her brother's kneecap with her foot. "Yeah I bet! You've probably nagged the poor girl so badly that it's no wonder she doesn't want anything to do with it."

He just snorted and said under his breath that the only nag he ever met was a particular Coalition diplomat to whom he happened to be related.

Adai stood and bowed. "Your servant, suh."

"I wish!" was the annoyed reply accompanied by pantomimed movement of a whip being cracked and a sound effect of "whhhhit!"

"Now you two stop it. Why is it that no matter what age you are you fight as though you were still 8 years old?" Donna's voice conveyed the message that this had been a long-term behavior practiced between the two verbal combatants. Bringing over the plate of barbecue she gave both of them a disapproving glance.

Dnel and Adai only exchanged eye contact, shrugged, and then innocently looked at their mom.

"Us? Surely you mean someone else." They chorused.

Sighing, Donna brought the condiments to the table from the counter just inside the kitchen door. As she sat down Donna looked at Valteri, and Adai noted, pointedly ignored her children. "Val, y'know they used to try that routine when they were 8 years old too. They'd be fightin' like cats and dogs. But the minute I'd step in they'd stop, look at each other, and then look innocently at me and say "who us?" I used to think they were tryin' to drive me crazy. Now, I'm certain of it."

Valteri giggled as the two "children" gaped at their mother in astonishment. The expression on their faces registered unbelief that their own mother would think such a thing. Both made a chuffing sound and silently began to fill their plates. Donna grinned. From Adai’s vantage point as she looked up through her eye lashes as she pretended to focus on filling her plate, it was obvious that her mom knew she'd had finally gotten in the last word.

Feasting on the ribs and other goodies her mother had made, Adai watched the sunset as it settled behind the trees at the end of the valley. Chewing on a bone she thought about how she wished that her father's end had been as gentle as this sunset. This is how it's suppose to be, she thought, natural, peaceful, a simple releasing of one's life to bring about the new dawn in the morning. She shook her head sadly feeling the bitterness stir within. It was disgraceful that anyone should have their life snuffed out for anything but honorable reasons.

"Adai?"

"Huh?"

"I said do you want anything else? If not Val and I are going to clear the table."

Adai looked around and then did a mental check on her fill capacity. "No, Mom, I'm finished." She put the bone down on the plate and started picking up her dishes. 

Donna came over and put her hand on top of her daughter's. "No, you need to go into your father's study and read his final instructions. Ptantel said it was your responsibility as the first born to handle Tkel's final wishes."

Her stomach knotted. Nodding, Adai went inside to do the things she'd been putting off doing. Much to her relief Tkel didn't leave much to be done. He'd planned well, buying the casket, leaving directions as to where all the important documents were, telling where on the family land plot his fires were to be built. The way it was so well laid out it was like he had expected his end to be sudden and that bothered her. She leaned back into Tkel's Borsch hide chair. His "smell", the hair oil he was using on his remaining hairs along with the smell from his merkom tobacco, emanated from the hide behind her. Somehow smelling it gave her certain degree of comfort. It was from the laid back position that she noticed a single parchment roll tucked between the end of the walled-in bookcase and the book of holy writ next to it. She leaned forward and semi-lifted herself out of the chair in order to reach it. As she brought it out and got settled again she noticed that the red seal, which helped the scroll keep it’s shape had her name on it. 

Adai's hands shook as she broke the seal and began to read. "In case of my death, I, Tkel from the Great House of Lanara, hereby pass on to my daughter, Adai Jouyeuse, blood of the Great House of Lanara, my birthright of succession to the eldership of the Lanara clan." She blinked her eyes and read it again. No, she'd not read wrong, according to this document she was now Ptantel's rightful heir. Adai tried to keep her calm. Punching in the codes on the vid screen, she called her grandfather to inform him about the letter.

"Of course I knew about it my dear."

She couldn't believe her ears. He knew!

"But grandfather, how could you know? This is not how it is done."

His gray haired head just nodded. "I know. And I can't tell you anything more right now. But you must trust me when I say that the document and the power it infers is indeed valid."

Adai shook her head in disbelief. "Very well, grandfather, I will trust that. But I still don't understand."

"I know. Perhaps if the Great one will grant it there will be the answers to your questions soon. Peace be with thee my t'lyia (precious heir)."

Her grandfather's gentle dismissal told her that there was nothing to be gained by pressing further. "And peace be with thee, grandfather."

The vid screened went black and Adai called her mother to the study to tell her about the scroll and the conversations.

Val and Dnel were finishing the dishes and putting them away as Adai and her mother came out of the study. Determined not to think about the implications of her father’s scroll, Adai spent the rest of the evening bringing everyone up to date on what her activities had been over the last few months. When the conversation finally petered out, Adai decided it was time for her go to bed. 

“I’ve got a big day tomorrow and with everything that’s happened I really need a good night’s rest,” she reasoned. 

Adai then hugged her brother and Valteri and then kissed her mom good night. After taking a welcome hot shower she crawled into bed. But before she fell asleep she felt a familiar and welcome loving caress in her mind.

Good night my heart and soul, came Val’s loving mind-voice.

Good night beloved. Come to bed soon?

Soon. I promise, Val replied.

Holding that promise in her mind, Adai fell sleep.

Suddenly it felt like the whole house was shaking apart. 

"Adai, wake up! Mother needs you, wake up!"

"What? Oh...Dnel!" Adai's younger brother was shaking her by the arm. She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and rubbed her eyes. "Shhh. Val's asleep. Now, what is this about Mom?"

Dnel sat down beside her in his pajamas. "Sis, I'm really worried. She just sits in their bedroom and cries. I don't think she's slept but maybe an hour or two every night since Dad went into the hospital and died."

"Okay." She patted his knee and tugged down on his shoulder so she could kiss her "little" brother's cheek. "Don't worry, I'll go see what I can do. Now, get out of here....quietly!" 

Her brother stood and kissed her on top the head. "Thanks, sis."

Adai nodded as she threw on her robe and headed down the hall.

She walked up to her mother’s door, softly tapped and opened it slightly. Adai peered through to see Donna sitting in the antique rocker with its back to the door, gently rocking, holding herself as if trying to comfort a crying child. The only light was coming from the two tall cendar beeswax candles in the middle on the dresser. The reflections in the mirror gave an odd eeriness to the room and the scent reminded her of temples she’d visited. Even in the dimness Adai could see the reflection of her mother in the mirror through the space between door and jam. What she saw was an image of great sadness and grief; the normally bright eyes were dark and void. Her mother’s delicate ivory face was drawn and dusky. So entranced with what she saw, Adai unexpectedly leaned forward on the door causing it to groan a little. 

"Adai?" Her mother called.

"Yeah." Adai quietly walked over to where her mother was sitting. "Are you okay? Dnel said that you haven't slept well since Dad took ill and died." 

The small shoulders struggled to rise with a labored breath, her voice husky. "I don't know if I'm okay or not. This loneliness .... I never could have imagined it to be so horrible. The emptiness aches you know; my heart feels like it's been ripped out; all I want to do is crawl away into seclusion to cry; I want to mourn until the pain is gone. If it will ever go away...." her voice trailed off into the reclaiming silence.

Kneeling beside her, Adai wrapped her arms around the now trembling shoulders. "I do know." Adai could feel her own heart sinking as she started to recall her own early widowhood. "I felt the same way when my Sam died in that attack. Our home felt so empty and vacant when I'd return from the consulate. I hated to go work because I had trouble concentrating and yet I hated to be home. So I spent a lot of my free time at the staff gym. But everything just got worse when I couldn't will my body to fight or stay awake. I'd get inside the door, too tired to think, too tired to not give in to the pain. Absentmindedly I'd call out her name saying I was home..." and her voice faded in the memory. 

Donna lifted her eyes only a moment but Adai caught the understanding emanating from them. She watched as her mother got up and shuffled over to the big bed. Donna climbed on top of it, supported her back on the headboard and drew her knees up protectively about her chin. Her eyes focused intently on some unseen spot across the room. "I walk into the den and see the fire going and forget that I was the one who started it. I look to his chair expecting to see him there, to hear his voice call my name. At night..." She turned her head and looked at the untouched pillow and the undisturbed bedclothes. Caressing the pillow gently and touching it with an unsatisfied longing, her voice wavered as tears coursed down her cheeks, "I... I never realized how big and empty a bed could be."

Donna pulled the pillow from Tkel's side of the bed and possessively hugged it to her chest and buried her face in it. Adai got up from her place next to the rocking chair and sat down beside her mother on the bed comforting her. As she held the shuddering shoulders and stroked the soft graying hair Adai relived her pain of loosing her own partner. The news that Sampta had died in the terrorist attack and would never come home again had shaken her. But living in the emptiness where there had once been another life, that was the pain that haunted, no, still haunted her, she thought. The tears flowed freely as both mother and daughter shared in the pain, the emptiness, and loneliness. It wasn't until each one had cried out all their grief that they finally dried their eyes.

"Mom?" Adai passed Donna the box of tissues after she had taken a good supply of them.

Donna accepted the box, pulled out a few sheets and dabbed at her eyes. "Mmmm?"

"You really should try to get some sleep and so should I. Do you remember Dad makin' a Prum toddy that would put anyone to sleep?" 

Her mother nodded. 

"Why don't I make us each one? Then we'll set up sleeping bags in the living room like in the sleepovers you use to tell me about."

Brightening if but for a moment Adai saw her mother's eyes light up. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. Let's do it."

Adai helped her mom with the robe and then looped her arm in her mother's as they headed toward the kitchen and eventual sleep.


	2. "Death is but a step into a new dawn - new beginnings...."     from "Antigyn's Fire"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little levity which every child - young or old - can relate...
> 
> The good kind of Pomp and Circumstance with a touch of smack down
> 
> Ceremony, tradition, spirit, and the night of endings is upon them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the summary to the last page and final word of the final chapter, this is my own creation and protected in its entirety by my own copyright.
> 
> I suggest getting a cup of coffee or tea or whatever you wish to drink when reading. The chapters for the most part long as represented by chapter 1 which in Word 2003 is 18pgs long. So...
> 
> **WARNING:** There is graphic violence in this story in various places. It was so graphic that one of my beta readers had to stop because it was triggering nightmares. 
> 
> **HOWEVER CHAPTER 2 IS CLEAR**... So sit back, read, and enjoy... unless funerals bother you...
> 
> To my readers: Thank you for taking time to read this story. I hope you enjoy it and that it draws you in and refuses to let you go.  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was, for the most part, a blur because of all the preparations for that evening's funeral. By the time Adai was finished with it all it was two hours before sunset. She just had enough time to get cleaned up and changed.

"Adai? Are you almost ready?" Donna's voice carried the familiar maternal tone down the hallway.

Mothers! Adai thought. "Yes, Mom, I'm just about done." she said as she buttoned the side of her pants underneath her robe and rubbed the toe and top of her boots on the back of her pants leg.

"Very good dear. The sun is almost down and your grandfather will be...." the maternal “my kids always need me to prod them to be on time” voice said again

"I know. I'll be ready." Adai interrupted as she picked up the Lanara clan sword and strap that is given to the eldest child upon successful completion of the “passage" to adulthood. As she brought the belt around her and tucked it under the robe she looked up into Val's face only to see insult added to injury. Here she was trying to get ready for her father's funeral and her mom was, well, mothering her and her best friend and lover was laughing at her.

And just what is so funny?" She growled.

"Why nothing, Adai." Val turned quickly and busied herself with straightening up her uniform medals in the mirror.

Adai studied her face in the mirror. Valteri's lips quivered and her face muscles contorted. Adai huffed, "Yeah, right, in a pig's eye. What has got you so tickled?"

Val drew a sharp breath; leaning on the bed frame she tried to speak in a factual kind of voice. "Well..., it's just that when your mom calls your name I see the confident and very competent diplomat shrink and turn into a little girl. I've never seen you so thoroughly intimidated before. It's really is very funny - if you think about it."

Adai's eyes narrowed. "I suppose your mother doesn't do that to you?" 

"Well, actually... yes she does but I wasn't about to admit it until I had to." By this time Val could no longer contain herself. She sat down on the edge of Adai's bed, doubled over with laughter.

Adai snorted in contempt; and forced an imperious tone. "Oh well, thank you so very much for enjoying my discomfiture. Now if you think you can pull yourself together long enough, give me a hand with this sword hilt."

"Remember to say please Adai!" Again, the maternal authority interjected.

"Yes, Mother." Looking at Val she spat out the word, "PLEASE!"

Valteri quickly hid her eyes and busied herself with the hilt latch. Moments later there was a knocking at the door. Adai answered it as she rounded the corner from her bedroom. It was Ptantel.

"Good evening, grandfather." She said as they hugged and then made way for him to walk into the living room. "May the Great Lady make your soul's journey a smooth one tonight."

Ptantel gently placed his hand on her shoulder closest to him. His warm brown eyes looked intently into hers. "And may she bear yours in her arms as you take your rightful place as my heir this night."

Adai looked at Ptantel. It was still hard for her to believe that she had inherited her father's place as the next ruling elder of the Lanara clan. She placed her hand on top of his. 

"Thank you Elder. May I be found worthy of such an ascended position." 

Her grandfather continued to hold her with a long gaze. Adai shifted uncomfortably. 

"Adai? Who was..? Oh, Ptantel. Thank you for coming." Donna crossed the room from her bedroom to greet the new arrival. Adai, grateful for the interruption sat down in the overstuffed leather chair near the front door.

While the daughter-in-law and father-in-law exchanged pleasantries, the vid screen beeped. "I'll get it." Adai said and quickly got up and left.

The screen flashed alive with Val's face on it.

"Val, what's the meaning of this?" 

"I over heard you and your grandfather so I slipped out the back door to check on the limo. It's waiting here for you."

"Thanks, Val. I'll tell them."

The picture faded and Adai girded herself for what was about to begin. She then went out to tell her family that it was time.

The large Petralan sun was sinking behind the Premptor mountain range to the west as the limo found it's way to the funeral home near Antigyn's bluff. When they arrived the limo parked next to the caisson that was standing ready in front of the door in the hover loading zone. Adai and Val got out and went inside the white-pillared, green-moss-like covered building. Adai went into the office and signed the release for her father's body. Val continued into the main viewing room and had the waiting military detail carry TKel's body out to the awaiting horse drawn caisson. When Adai came out of the building she was met by Tr'altalain of the ancient priestly clan Antindin, a tall young man dressed in the ceremonial garments of long robes whose green and white colors were representative of his family's house. His was duty was to be Last Witness, making sure everything was done according to the proper protocols. 

"Lady Adai of the Great House of Lanara?" He asked with a voice dripping with arrogance and disdain. He looked her up and down and gave a snort of contempt.

Adai drew herself up to her full height. "I am. You are from the priesthood, I assume?"

"Yes, Lady."

"Very well sir. Do you wish to travel by limo or by wagon?"

With a look that registered surprise mixed with superiority, the priest replied, "I am here to observe ALL traditions Lady Adai. I will ride with the wagon."

Adai motioned to the place beside her own. It was then she decided that she was no longer going to put up with his putdowns - obvious or otherwise. There were few things or people she suffered indignities from but someone such as this arrogant little ‘I’m better than you because your genetic breeding is inferior to mine’ priest was not one. Adai crossed her arm over the stair-step to the wagon and barred him from getting any further. She softly popped his chest with her forefinger as she spoke. "See here, Witness, I honor my father, my clan, and the Great Lady's ways. My robes are that of my family as well as my diplomatic station. I wear the family blade at my side as is my right as first born. As you can see the body is borne properly and the music coming from the honor guard is from the specified ancient cannon. I believe that all of these things that are done are well within the prescribed requirements."

"Adai, is there a problem?" 

She looked to her left and saw her grandfather getting out of the limo. He moved slowly due to his years but his gait was still that of reigning nobility. 

"Nothing serious." Adai said as she kept her eyes leveled with the priest.

"Well that's good. But here, I forgot to give you this at the house." Adai's eyes widened as he hung around her neck the solid gold obelisk designating birthright. "There. And it looks so splendidly about your neck. Don't you think so E'ber (reverent priest)?"

The young man choked and looked surprised. It was obvious as he lifted his nose up in the air that he'd been caught out. He turned his head as he tried to clear his throat and unobtrusively wet his thin lips. In a raspy whisper he answered, “Yes Elder. She bears herself nobly as firstborn and heir.” Turning his head towards Ptantel, he bowed saying, “and she is properly following tradition and honoring the family. My apologies if I mistyped myself.” 

P'tantel's eye sparkled with mischief as Adai escorted him back to the limo. She thanked him for his support as she hugged his neck.

"Don't thank me," said the smiling voice coming from inside the dark limo, "I was forgetful. It is your right and responsibility to be properly attired for such occasions. Next time, it's your problem."

As the door shut she could hear her grandfather tell her mother what happened. Abruptly there was a burst of laughter, then as quickly it was silent again. Adai could imagine what was going on inside. She waved the limo on as she returned to the wagon and boarded. Resettled, she urged the horses forward towards what she called "Pyre Hill" located on the Antigyn fire heights. It was the piece of land that her ancestors had bought 307 years ago for funeral purposes. There was a guardian/priest name Tempin who followed in his father's family line in caretaking the Lanara land until it was needed. Tkel, like his ancestors, had provided generously for the man and his family.

As the entourage approached the hill she could see in the distance just beyond her fathers land the glow from the firepits of Antigyn. On the land itself burned two raging bonfires. Adai's attention was drawn to those fires and she began to remember by rote what it all meant and how it worked. The firepit to the right represented the fire of the soul in life. The firepit on the left represented the ancient firepit from whence came the original life spark. The empty pit at the foot of the funeral pyre represented the fire to which the soul returned as it enters the new dawn. 

The funeral tumbrel approached and stopped at the gate to the land. The guardian stepped out of the shadows looking like an ancient Petralan warrior dressed in a white toga with coarse black pants covered with armor, his feet shod in heavy black leather, hand-sewn boots. He held a sharpened javelin in his hand and had a crystalline glistening fire sword at his side. He called out in his deep bass voice the ritual question: 

"Who wishes to enter the passage way to Antigyn, the place of fire and life?"

Adai stepped down from the wagon, stood at attention and answered, "I do. I am the Lady Adai Joyeus Lanara, first-born child and heir of Lord TKel from the Great House of Lanara, your master. I bring his body home so that his soul may make its journey to the new dawn."

The old guard looked her squarely in the eye as if taking the measure of her soul. His eyes then slowly examined her dress, her bearing, and then they rested on the obelisk. Nodding with approval he allowed a thin smile to cross his lips. "I can see the fire of your father abiding in you. Enter in and bear my master on his way. All is in readiness," and then leaning close enough for only Adai to hear, he said, "and I mourn with thee. By my troth if I could kill the bastard that killed him I'd..."

Adai smiled into the gentle brown eyes and pressed her forefinger to her lips as she leaned slightly forward so that the Witness would not notice the break in protocol. "Shhh, old Tempin, I know. Rest easy, it is my duty as the first-born to see that the matter of his murderer is taken care of and I will see to it. I promise. But," her voice growing loud again, "Come now and convey my father to the pyre."

"Yes." Tempin carefully scanned the western sky, "It is time. The sun is now gone."

Adai climbed again into the wagon and took the reins. Tempin took his place beside the caisson to walk the remaining mile with his deceased master. The night echoed with a symphony comprised of the fire crackling, the drum roll marking cadence for the clicking boots, the mournful wail of the brentih (best translated description is that of a Terran bagpipe), and the horses hooves and whinnies as they traveled. 

Approaching the fires, Adai could see the outline of her grandfather, her mom, Dnel, Val and other clan members. Her mother was sitting at the head of the funeral pyre on the lower level closest to and between the two fires. The Witness stood behind her. Adai's empty chair was to the right of her mother’s and Dnel's to her left. Valteri was standing the guardian station at the foot of the third unlit firepit. Elder Ptantel sat on an upraised stage behind her mother's position. As ruling elder of his clan, his was the exalted position to watch all that would transpire, including the last of the journey to Antigyn's firepit.

The burial entourage came to its final stop. The military pallbearers bore Tkel's casket with precision to the pyre as Adai took her place beside her mother. Tempin picked up two bristled sticks and walked over and handed one of them to Adai. Together they each walked over to either side of the roaring pits. Dnel lifted to his lips a long symphonna - an ancient instrument resembling a ram's horn - and began to slowly blow. It's deep haunting rumble filled the smoke and firelight atmosphere. As he did, the old guard and Tkel's daughter lit their torches and then held them arms stretched to the sky. Ptantel then stood and intoned loudly the funeral rites:

"Love and passion are vehement flames. In their combination they create new life. My son, Tkel Erozt was the flame of my youth, the vitality of my life that would succeed me when my time came. But the dark forces found in the heart of another a home, and a way to rob me of my son and heir. Now I command that his life be commended back to the eternal flame from whence all Petralan life came so that he may enter into the new dawn, a new life of eternal peace."

It was upon that command that Adai and the old guard stepped forward and set fire to the tops of the dams that held back the Jasceder oil which would carry the flames to the staves and all the trenches carved beneath the casket. As the dams burned they laid their sticks at the bottom of the bier so that when the oil reached them they would burst into a hot flame devouring the casket.

Ptantel then beckoned to Adai, calling her to his side. He motioned that she stand beside him - equal to his place. She looked at Tempin and pointed for him to see Ptantel's still held arm pointing beside him. Tempin nodded as she proceeded to climb up the tall ramp to the platform. Adai took the place he specified and tried to maintain her composure as she thought she should. But as the flames rose higher and the roar grew louder her control over them grew more difficult. She fought to keep her lip from trembling but it was as though it had a mind of its own. Before she knew it she'd dropped to her knees and her shoulders racked in agony. As she sobbed she felt warmth cover her back. She lifted her eyes and saw Ptantel kneeling beside her, also weeping as he held her.

What happened next she wasn't sure but in the midst of the fire's roar and the tears she thought she heard, "Daughter?" 

She raised up and said, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, little one?" her grandfather asked.

"Daughter?"

"That. Can't you hear it?"

P'tantel strained to hear but it was obvious he heard nothing. "No, child. But stand to your feet and close your eyes; focus on the voice and listen."

"But,..."

His voice grew stern as he stood to his feet. "Do it, Adai Joyeus. Now!"

Stunned by his firmness, she stood and did as she was told.

"Daughter?" the voice called to her.

Inwardly she listened as she focused on the flames before her, "Father? Is that you?"

"Yes, the Lady is allowing me one last message for you before I go to the rising dawn." came back.

"Speak sir, I listen."

"There are many things that will not be as they seem. But the one thing on which you can count will be your birthright. Use it wisely daughter."

"But father...."

Abruptly the casket crashed into the pit below the bier, igniting the dams and setting off a loud roar as the final pit caught fire.

"Father?" her voice spoke out into the din.

"It's too late, he's gone."

She refocused her eyes and slowly nodded at her grandfather.

The military escort took their places and fired off 3 volleys. When the last shot faded and the irrigation fire pits were feeding the center pit with flame, Adai lifted up her voice and sang the Petralan funeral hymn.

Fire, bear our loved one,  
Into the dawning light.  
Free his soul we ask,  
From this eternal night.  
Take him to the place,  
Where once his life began.  
May he find his final rest,  
At our home of Antigyn.

They then sat and watched the remaining flames burn. When the last of the embers burned out Adai stood and embraced her grandfather. Looking down to where her family were standing she dried her eyes and turned to Ptantel.

"By your leave, Elder?"

His silver head nodded. "Go to them. And then tomorrow contact me and tell me what he said."

"Yes, Elder."

Adai moved quickly down the ramp to where Val, her mother, and Dnel were. They hugged and held each other for a long time. Finally, she went over to Tempin and clasped his arms.

"You have served us well this night. Now take the horses and the wagon back, then take your rest. May the Great Lady grant you peace and comfort."

"And you, Lady." He replied. Then he smiled, bowed and walked away.

Adai walked back to family and friends to close this chapter of her life and to figure out what her father meant.

**Author's Note:**

> (to be continued)


End file.
